Socks
by bioticblackops
Summary: A very pointless (slightly NSFW) piece of ridiculous fluff about a pair of ridiculous socks.
Had anybody ever told him that he'd enjoy doing laundry would be so relaxing, Kaidan would've laughed. That was before he got shot at on an almost daily basis in the middle of a war, though, and things like that helped to change your perspective. You started looking for quieter moments, little pockets of peace among the madness, and you held onto them with all you had, even when the worst was over. Maybe especially then since you learned how precious those moments could be and how you should never take them for granted.

Kaidan smiled slightly while folding another t-shirt. Oddly enough he felt too relaxed to let musings like this darken his mood. A small miracle he completely blamed on the woman sitting a few feet away from him on the couch. Shepard's eyes were fixed on a datapad but for once her face was relaxed too. This was probably thanks to the fact that she was reading some kind of romance series Kasumi had hooked her on instead of the usual reports. For once she was actually relaxing and enjoying herself. Her hand was toying with a red strand absentmindedly, her teeth worrying her lower lip. Some soft music was playing in the background, almost too soft to hear over the bubbling of the aquarium that, for the first time since Shepard moved into the cabin, housed a bunch of living fish. Why someone would place a fish tank in the care of a woman who even forgot to feed herself on a regular basis was a mystery to him. But he always wanted to have fish and since he moved in with her, he tended to them as much as he tended to most chores around their shared space.

Kaidan folded another hoodie, wondering exactly how many of the same N7 hoodie one woman could own when he spied something unexpected. Abandoning one piece of clothing, he picked up two pieces different ones, just staring at them in bewilderment.

"Shepard? What are these?"

"Hm?" She made before tearing her eyes from her datapad. He held the offending garments higher so she could see them. Her eyebrows rose together with the objects in his hands.

"Those are called socks, Kaidan."

"I know that these are socks but why on earth do you own N7 socks? I didn't even know they exist!"

"Of course not. You aren't an N7. Only N7 operatives get access to N7 socks."

"But why do you have them?"

"Because I am N7," Shepard replied as if it was the most natural thing in the world. To her, maybe, it was.

"Shepard, just because something has a red stripe on it, you don't automatically need to buy it!"

"Are you telling me how to spend my money, Alenko?"

"Of course not! I just don't understand why you own N7 socks. Or why there are N7 socks in the first place."

"Because N7 operatives need socks too, Kaidan."

He gave her a blank stare. "Are you telling me that N7s are incapable of wearing anything that doesn't have an N7 on it?"

Shepard huffed. "Don't be ridiculous."

"Oh, I am being ridiculous? You don't see me wearing N7 socks."

"Because you aren't N7! And besides, you don't get to judge Mr. I-Only-Own-Alliance-Branded-Things!"

"I do not own only Alliance branded things!"

"Oh excuse me, I forgot your beloved spectre hoodie!" While their odd... he didn't want to call it fight, more like a heated discussion continued, Shepard had made her way over to him, snatching her beloved socks away. The momentum of her movement almost let the carefully constructed pile of folded laundry on the bed crash down but Kaidan managed to stop it the last second. He better get them stored away before all his work came undone again. Shepard could fold her damn N7 socks herself for all he cared.

"If you care so much, I just needed new socks and was already placing an order with N7 requisitions for a new mod. The socks were a bonus."

Kaidan just shook his head while putting their clothes away in their small shared closet. He knew better than to say anything more, although he had to bite back a laugh. Usually, when they fought it was about things that had more ... substance. Mostly related to their jobs at the Alliance or even their positions as Spectres. Nothing as mundane as a pair of socks. He grinned, turning around to ask Shepard if they'd reached another milestone in their relationship when something soft hit him square in the face.

Startled he caught the offending piece of clothing as it was about to fall to the floor. It took him two seconds to realize he was holding a bra and another one to look up again. The view greeting him was so unexpected that he didn't know if he should be aroused or amused as both options seemed equally valid.

Shepard was still standing in front of the couch. The big difference was that she was now wearing the ridiculous N7 socks – just the N7 socks. The rest of her clothes – the exception being the bra in his hands – was scattered around her in a way that showed she'd wanted to get rid of them quickly. Her hands were resting on her cocked hips, chin high and a shit-eating grin on her face.

"So, do you still think they are ridiculous?" Shepard asked, eyebrows waggling suggestively.

The moment Kaidan opened his mouth to say that, yes, he still thought so, was the same the door behind Shepard swished open.

"Hey Lola, do you have a–"

James, Shepard and Kaidan froze simultaneously. Their unexpected guest neither took another step into the cabin nor said another word. Instead, the eyes of the young marine were glued to Shepard's very shapely and very naked backside that was just a few steps away from him. Kaidan saw the heat creeping up Shepard's body, a deep red blush threatening the freckles on her pale skin to disappear as she refused to turn around and present more of herself to their subordinate.

James seemed to remember that he wasn't alone in the room with Shepard's ass. His eyes snapped to Kaidan who was still standing next to the bed, bra in his hands. The second human Spectre stared open-mouthed at the scene before him, probably looking much like one of Shepard's fish. James' eyes widened as his gaze flickered from one Spectre to the other, likely guessing what he'd interrupted.

Kaidan couldn't even correct him since it was too ridiculous to say out loud and speech still failed him. Still surrounded by oppressing silence, James' eyes suddenly travelled down. Before Kaidan could snap at the marine to look up again, James huffed a laugh.

"Nice socks, Shepard!" The possessiveness that had been building inside of Kaidan just a few seconds before vanished as fast as it appeared. He pressed his lips together to stop them from trembling. The small movement attracted Shepard's attention. Her eyes narrowed, daring him to laugh and deal with the consequences. It was hard taking her serious, standing in the middle of the room butt naked in just a pair of N7 socks.

"Well, I'll leave you two to … whatever you're doing. You kids have fun!"

With that, James turned around and fled the cabin. The door wasn't even closed yet when Kaidan completely lost it. The sudden force of laughter made him double over, taking his breath away. Tears stung in his eyes but he couldn't help it. Not even the bundle of clothes connecting with his head could stop that.

Shepard's face was still bright red as she mumbled about insubordination on her own ship. While Kaidan tried to regain control, he watched her looking for something to cover herself with, now that she'd effectively thrown most of her attire at him. Unwilling to come over and get it back, she stomped around the bed to grab one of the spare blankets. Just as she slung one around her shoulders, something soft hit her in the face.

Baffled she looked down at the unexpected offender she'd caught and back to its owner. The same owner who was not only bare-chested but also in the middle of opening his belt to push down his pants and boxers in one fluent movement. Silent laughter was still rocking Kaidan's body and it threatened to come back full force when he caught sight of Shepard's bewildered expression and open mouth.

He stepped away from the small pile of clothes he'd created, very aware he was now in just his socks (plain black, thank you very much). Shepard stood next to the bed without moving a muscle, tracking his every movement until he was right in front of her. She didn't struggle when he pushed her blanket down from her shoulders and let it fall to the floor.

"What are you–" Shepard began but was promptly interrupted.

"Evening the playing field. At least now we are ridiculous together."

Before Shepard could reply, he pulled her into his arms, sealing his mouth over hers. He could feel her grin blossoming against his lips as she buried her hands in his hair, pulling him close. Maybe the N7 socks weren't so bad after all. As far as socks went, they were quickly becoming his favorite pair.


End file.
